The whole point of my blog is to show other people, like me, dealing with anxiety and/or depression that we can do better than just “survive,” we deserve to thrive. So let’s start the day off right and wake up bright-eyed and bushy tailed, or let’s just get out of bed a little easier.
I’ve talked before about how sometimes our feelings get labeled and we just run with it, in the wrong direction. I used to watch Friends reruns every night to fall asleep. Umm…for about 6 years. This behavior could maybe be seen as “Obsessive Compulsive” and considering my dads obsessive discipline and eating disorders running in my family, it’s not that far off that I might have similar behaviors. But I had heard the words “Obsessive Compulsive,” and I was basically scared into thinking I HAD to do this every night to fall asleep.
“Bed time,” is when my anxiety really rears it’s ugly head, I imagine that’s the same for a lot of people. When I was younger I had an overwhelming fear that my house was going to be broken into and the burglar would murder my parents, and other similar variations of that scenario. I suppose when my mind has a chance to quiet, that’s when all the thoughts, “what if..,” “remember when..,” “what did I say?” come into my mind. But if I fed into my “Obsessive Compulsive” behavior, my mind could be distracted from my own thoughts. Maybe true. Maybe not. Just about every bed time study suggests that watching TV while you fall asleep is to advisable. According to the National Sleep Institute, the blue light from your TV (phone, tablet, whatever) can delay the onset of REM which is when you are in your deepest sleep. Not getting enough REM sleep can cause you to feel drowsy in the morning. And for people like me, with depression, I already have enough trouble getting up in the morning, I don’t need to be feeling drowsy too! So did I spend 5+ years not getting optimal sleep? Probably. Did that have to happen? Probably not. But I was convinced I need to maintain this behavior. Flash forward to now. I sleep with my girlfriend, who does not want to watch Friends reruns ever, much less just before bed. So guess what? I fall asleep just find without the TV.
Ok. Pause. Don’t panic. I know being alone with our own thoughts can be scary and certainly anxiety provoking. How can you keep your mind occupied but quiet at the same time? Think good thoughts. Obviously easier said than done, but let me tell you how I can do it.
- Let yourself think about feel the thoughts in your head. Ok. Full stop. This sounds scary and maybe like a bad idea, but hear me out. All anxiety is not bad, we know that. It’s part of our instincts that help us to survive. Anxiety disorders are the disproportionate feeling of this emotion. So back to the point, these thoughts are not all bad. So if Im going to bed, if I have these running thoughts of anxiety, I think them, or sometimes I write them down. To me, it signals to my brain, “Ok I hear you.” Acknowledge the feelings and know that you can address them at another time.
- Think good thoughts. Remember the things you are grateful for. Even if they are small things from that day, or an overall gratefulness for something you have in your life. Maybe 3-5 things. Think them. Think of the people associated with them and the feelings you feel.
- Believe you can fall asleep. Give yourself a chance to do it too. Get comfortable, close your eyes, and think to yourself, “I am falling asleep.” If you get into bed already thinking you won’t be able to do it, you are doomed from the start. And if you don’t give you self a change to even try, well you guessed it. You’re doomed. Believe it or not, you control your own thoughts, and your thoughts control your actions. It’s that simple.
Take control of your thoughts. Acknowledge the thoughts, even the ones that suck, and then change them. You have this ability, everyone does. And if you practice you will get better at it. Let me tell you an example:
My common anxiety thought before bed: Someone is going to break in and try to kill me or my family.
How I change it: Someone could try to break in, but I’ve locked the doors, I have set the alarm, and the dogs would bark if they tried. And it’s been 30 years and it’s never happened so I should be good tonight.
I’m acknowledging the fear, addressing that I’ve taken the reasonable and logical steps and thinking positively. Not too hard!
You have the power to direct your thoughts to positivity and to sleep (and to conquering you’re fears, accomplishing your goals, etc. but save that for another time.)
And like I always say, if you don’t get it one night, and you turn on your blue light of comfort, oh well! You’ll wake up maybe not as refreshed or whatever, but you’ll try again the next night. This is all about progress, not perfection. If you are trying to improve your sleep habits, you are already doing better than you were doing yesterday! And this is just the beginning of getting to the part where you are thriving and not just surviving!
SWEET DREAMS!
To the Limit 